Disclaimer: This is not a self-indulgent post, but rather a self-appreciative account of a situation that I had found myself in. Views included are entirely my own, and not intended to either please or offend.
Becoming a catering girl requires skill
Two weeks ago I was offered a trial shift as a runner at a London-based multifaceted production studio. I had a long chat with the managing director about my background, and my aspirations for the future. ‘So you want to be a producer?’ he said ‘Great, there will be opportunities for the right candidate. I wouldn’t imagine for anyone to stay a runner for longer than six months. I like to promote people’. I took time off from my then temp runner job at a post house, and turned up to my trial at 6.30 am on a Monday morning. Such was my dedication and enthusiasm that I even consciously ignored the money matters. Upon my arrival I was shown to a kitchen stacked up with plates and jugs, and asked to set up breakfast for twelve people that would be arriving in half an hour. This is the story of how I became a CATERING GIRL.
The delights of media running
If, like myself, you have studied Skillset, as well as other numerous resources available on the web about ‘what it means to be a runner in the media’ – you probably know that: a) it’s an entry level position b) it’s all about a positive attitude c) you may be asked to do the most menial tasks that d) you should be able to do so with a SMILE, and last but not least: e) you will get a chance to learn about ALL aspects of the industry. Right? BINGO! Well… In this case, the supposed ‘sea of opportunities’ prospect couldn’t have been further from the truth (or from my reach for that matter).
The delights of manning the kitchen
For the next day and a half, I have not left the kitchen. Instead, I cleaned, repeatedly boiled water for tea, and prepared food. The job also included going back and forth eight times, twice a day, to a cafe across the road to pick up hot plates with porridge, lasagna and pie, and making everything ‘look pretty and presentable’ (NOT my words), as well as (wait for it!) hand-washing all the plates and dishes afterwards. Because, to the studio manager’s utmost surprise, the dishwasher was broken. But hey, no biggie, why else would we have an underpaid runner in the house? It ONLY took applying SOS-REPAIR hand cream for a week for my hands to go back to normal.
Suffice to say, the entire predicament had NOTHING to do with production or gaining experience of thereof. The professional that I am (!), I did not however want to walk out on the job until I was certain I had a reason strong enough to do so. I kept the appearances – wiped the surface yet again, smiled a lot, and even went along with the unwanted sexual innuendos from the supposed boss.
The end of it all
On a Tuesday morning I spoke to the receptionist (who was directly responsible for this ‘thrilling opportunity’ that I was given) and told her that there’s been a huge mistunderstanding. She previously mentioned that ‘the guys are not sure whom they are looking for, and they need a female touch to the place’ – those words have now acquired a new meaning. Sexy cleaner? Human dishwasher with a smile? It became clear to me that what this company was looking for was a CATERING ASSISTANT WITH A GOOD TELEPHONE MANNER. And as for me, I had been MISLED into believeing that I would be involved in ALL aspects of the clients’ production work whilst I have NOT left the kitchen. My supposed ally (‘we’re on the same boat, darling’) continued playing the ‘I am clueless and innocent and will continue sweet-talking you into bullshit’ card. She wouldn’t even let me speak to the boss himself, saying she’ll pass the message on. Ever heard of a ‘gate keeper’? Don’t let them fool ya. It’s only the big boys that matter in the game, and it’s ONLY them that you should be speaking to (note to self). Nevertheless, it wasn’t until she said that they’d pay me 50 quid for the day (11 hours of work), and that the proposed pay for the job itself was a laughable 13K, that I realised that I had been taken advantage of. I laughed it off, demanded at least a miniumum wage, exchanged pleasantries yet again, and left right after lunch.
How did I get here?
Well, it hasn’t been an easy ride. Realising at the age of twenty six that I am in the wrong career (or no career to speak of – having worn different hats, I have somehow got stuck in a limbo of admin jobs in arts and education), dropping everything, and ‘just like that’ starting to ‘work in film’ has proven to be the best and most challenging thing that I have ever done. It’s also been a very slow-moving process, and despite having tried different approaches, including expenses-only film work, 17 hr days on studio shoots, and finally – ringing (almost) every production company in town, my BIG BREAK hasn’t happened yet. I have felt the sour taste of the worn out cliched saying, that it is not WHAT you know, but WHO you know. I have seen incompetency, and I have seen excellence and passion. I have connected with people who approach film in the same way that I do, where there is no issue of finding a common ground, because we already have our own LANGUAGE. And so on. I figured that the best way to not give up on this journey is to use the time in between to observe, learn, and explore my own ideas, but at the same time the heart wants what the heart wants… Which is to work IN the industry, not on its suburbs.
So what’s my fifty pence of wisdom?
The ones who’d done it, and crossed over to ‘the other side’ (and by that I mean – the successfull media-making side) say that ‘you have to give some to gain some’. I have never been afraid of getting my hands dirty, I think that the world belongs to those who don’t hesistate to go that extra mile. But I also believe that you need to be very self-aware when entering this industry. But even then, if you are naturally honest and humble, you will often fall into the traps of your own good will. So beware. Value yourself. Remember that people will try to squeeze as much energy out of you for as little in return as it is humanly possible. So invest it, that energy of yours, willingly, but first – make sure it’s worth it in a long run. I, for one, am now past the runner stage of my career. On the second day of what I like to call a ‘catering assistant job trial’ (and a test to my perseverance), I befriended a girl from the production company that hired the studio for the day’. She got it straight away, and I was knicknamed ‘a catering girl’. One thing led to another, and today I have an interview for a ‘NOT-a-runner job’. Could it be…? Feeling upbeat about it, but getting my hopes up is the last thing I will be doing. Moral of the story? Haters be hating, potatoes be potatoeing, so TRUST YOUR GUTS, and remember that staying humble doesn’t always pay off.
